How Did You Get Yourself So Stress up?

Everybody experiences stress. Stress is not always a “bad” thing. Stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind of demand. Dr. Lazarus suggested that there is a difference between eustress, which is a term for positive stress (eustress), and distress, which refers to negative stress. Eustress motivates us to changes our behaviors and move us closer to our chosen goals, dreams, and aspirations.

BUT when stress is stressful, it become distress! Characteristics of distress are, feeling demotivating, displaces of energy, anxiety, worry, feels generally unpleasant, overall performance/abilities decreases, physical illness, mental fatigue and emotional depletion.

In most case, stress cause by excessive worrying. We all worries sometimes, but how many of you worry all the time. Example, how many of you waking up worry about your day? Worry about meetings, worry about your kids, worry about money, and so on. When you go to bed do you still worry and think of your work? When you are at work are you worry thinking about your kids in school?

Equally important, being too busy can also lead to high levels of stress. Example, do you find that you have no time to listen to your kids’ problem? You feel like you been caught in the race to get all done with no time to enjoy what life has to offer? When is the last time you truly enjoying a meal without distraction? Do you feel like you are running out of time, all the time? Time is pressing on you. You wish you have 25 hours a day, just like me years ago, when my life is out of my control, as have many of my clients over the years.

You know deep down you are too busy running around, chasing things to get done. But you are also too busy to figure out how to stop being so busy. When you lost control of your life, your social life suffers, because you don’t have time for your love ones, your friends and have fun. No time for savoring people or events.

One sign that you are in distress is when your mind is easily hijacked by fears, worry, keeping you unnecessarily stuck in an inner world of anxiety and stress. Reclaiming control of your life can lead you to a life that you enjoy, motivated and having the power to solve problems.

Is time to want to throw the brakes on. The price of success is too a high price to pay. You need time to walk, not run. Seeking to savor your life, you need to savor first of all your relationships. You notice that you have cast your friendship aside, when you find yourself feeling lonely and alone. Since, you being rushing your life, as a result, when you think of your loves one, you did not pick up the phone or drop a note to connect with them. Friends keep you on track. Yet, how often you find yourself “too busy” to make time for cherishing your friends.

I believe your path crossed mine as you are reading this. Let’s stop this stressful rat race, stop the madness, take control of your schedule, make room to connect with our loves one, and take time to breath. Gain back the sense of self. It wasn’t until I experienced burn out in my career that I comprehended how out of balance my life was.

Relaxation entails deliberate actions. All of this takes time, and you and I do have sufficient time in the day to do what we were born to do. The key is recognizing what’s important in this state of your journey. “Humans are the only animals that create stress with their own minds. Much of this stress and the anxiety that accompanies it, it unnecessary. We can lessen it by learning to use our minds more skilfully.” said Rossman, (2011).

There are techniques that you can learn to reduce stress. Stress management is a skill you can learn, regardless of method, it’s a skill you will benefit from again and again. I will continue to share in my next article, “How to move from stress to calmness?” Simple and yet powerful technique, where I teach my clients in session.

As a counselor, my mission and passion is to help people live a meaningful life. Currently if you are suffering from distress and need help. You may schedule a counseling appointment, by contacting me over phone, or send me an e-mail. Contact details.



Burton, V. (2007). How did I get so busy? the 28-day plan to free your time, reclaim your schedule, and reconnect with what matters most. New York: Broadway Books.

Rossman, M. L. (2011). The worry solution: using breakthrough brain science to turn stress and anxiety into confidence and happiness. London: Rider.

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