It’s Time to Turn Your Inner Critic Into a Compassionate Friend.

One of the biggest issues, almost 90% of my clients face is, non other than “self-critical”. Think about it, we said “Thank you” to people who serve us, help us or show kindness to us. But in a day how many times we said “Thank you” to ourselves. Is there a time, you remember you said “Thank you” to yourself, or not at ALL!

Do you ever thank yourself, for working hard, for taking care of your family, for taking care of yourself, eating healthy, exercise, for being there for your loves one, for being kind, for being a good son/daughter, for showing kindness to someone in need, etc., etc.

We’re good at showing compassion for other people, but many of us have difficulty showing that same compassion to ourselves.

E.g., “I feel so bad to ask for a sabbatical leave, so many project my boss want me to look into. I don’t know how I can talk to him about it. How can I ask for leave?”

Often, I have asked my client, if this happen to your best friend, what will be your advice to he/she? They often will give me a very good response like, “You have worked too hard, you are burning out, you deserve the rest, there is nothing wrong to take leave.”; “You need to love yourself first, your family needs you”.

Then, followed by “I wonder how come you can’t said that to yourself?” “Why are you so harsh on yourself?” My clients will usually be stunned for a while. We say things to our friend, show empathy and care, but we would never say that to ourselves!

Many a times, not realizing the biggest bully in our lives is ourselves! Is times, to turn this big bully into our best friend, who loves us, who care for us, who desire the best for us, understand us, and who can empathize with us.

Remember, next time, take note of that voice, who is talking, the big bully or your best friend. Learn to push back the big bully and let your best friend get closer and help you.

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