Self Compassion

How may of us truly feel good about ourselves?

Give yourself a break. Turning your inner critic into a compassionate friend. Many of us are used to showing compassion to others. And many of us have trouble with is showing that same compassion to ourselves. Too often we say things to ourselves that we would never say to a friend. All this negative self-talk can have a devastating effect on our lives.

“Stop trying to label ourselves as “good”or “bad”and simply accept ourselves with an open heart. To treat ourselves with the same kindness, caring, and compassion we would show to a good friend, or even a stranger for that matter.” (Kristin Neff)

Clients who suffered with self-image and eating disorder. Guilt and shame seem to be their default emotion. Stuffing down with food, alcohol, shopping, or any reckless, impulsive behavior meant to stuff their feeling down so that they don’t have to feel the pain. And when they don’t feel the feelings, they punish them-self, and this will go on and on in their life.

My clients learned new ways of thinking and being as they learnt to practice self-compassion. When we care tenderly for ourselves in response to suffering, our heart opens. Compassion engages our capacity for love, wisdom, courage, and generosity. It’s a mental and emotional state that’s boundless and directionless, grounded in the great spiritual traditions of the world but available to every person simply by virtue of our being human.

“The research that my colleagues and I have conducted over the past decade shows that self-compassion is a powerful way to achieve emotional well-being and contentment in our lives. By giving ourselves unconditional kindness and comfort while embracing the human experience, difficult as it is, we avoid destructive patterns of fear, negativity, and isolation. At the same time, self-compassion fosters positive mind-states such as happiness and optimism. The nurturing quality of self-compassion allows us to flourish, to appreciate the beauty and richness of life, even in hard times. When we soothe our agitated minds with self-compassion, we’re better able to notice what’s right as well as what’s wrong, so that we can orient ourselves toward that which gives us joy. “Kristin Neff

You don’t need to be perfect to feel good about yourself.