Over about twenty years ago, I dabbled in a creative stint at the peak of my youth for a short while. I was an unofficial DJ for my friends and family and received many compliments saying that I could be a radio jockey with my voice. More recently, as I was producing this five-minute series podcast, I received more positive feedback about how my voice was especially soothing. In the midst of all this, my mind took me back in time and space, and I realize in hindsight how I have always been blessed with many gifts and talents. This recent realization comes across as funny as well as weird for me because personally, I never really thought of myself as being ‘talented’.
Reflect upon an instance when someone complimented you. How did you react to the moment? Receiving compliments is like a seed. It is a seed that sits on your head for a while and it doesn’t stay for a very long time. There is a proverbial wind of other problems/issues that comes along and takes its space. It just slips off very fast. On the contrary, when you receive negative feedback, that seed goes straight into your gut and grows into a huge tree. How inconvenient, right?
To illustrate further, think about how when someone tells you, ‘Hey, nice work! Good idea!’ or gives you positive feedback for anything that you have done. How long do you feel happy about it? A day or two? At most, some of us would be elated for the rest of the week. Now, compare that situation with someone telling you, ‘I don’t think that will work, that’s not such a good idea’, a negative feedback for whatever it is you did. You feel defeated and rejected, don’t you? And for how long? For a very long time, it almost tends to feel like forever.
Another example is when someone says ‘Hey, nice haircut!’ compared to someone who tells you ‘Hey I don’t think this hairstyle suits you.’ Which feedback do you hold on to and ponder upon for the rest of the day? Generally, people tend to long for compliments, and yet when it is given to us, we still choose to hold on to negative feedback more deeply and longer than we should. Why is that? We want compliments but we never believe it when it comes our way. We hate criticism but we hold on to it so dearly. Funny creatures, aren’t we?
If this is what you have experienced too, let’s make a conscious decision to change. Grab a pen and a sheet of paper. List and record all the positive reviews or good feedback that you have received throughout your life. Then, write down 10 accomplishments that you are proud of. From this point onwards, notice and determine what kind of seed you want to hold onto and let it grow. Stop holding on to the bad seed, let it be blown away by the wind while you firmly hold on to the good seed. Let it grow straight into your guts. Let it grow, let it blossom, and let it firmly establish its root, while you water it with self-love and provide it with the light of confidence.
It is time to plant a brand-new tree. Always remember, we are the product of our own choices, not a victim of our circumstances. Set your own narrative for the story of your life. Sometimes, the smallest decisions can end up changing your life forever.
Feature Image by congerdesign from Pixabay